Guide For The Miserable Day
by wikipedias
Summary: Slight AU. Temari and Shikamaru have never been on good terms and when Shikamau's assigned by Tsunade to 'guide' Temari around Konoha, he's as miserable and lazy as ever — TemariShikamaru


**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters used in this FanFiction.

_For Alexandra Summers and the guy she keeps denying: _Anson_._

* * *

"Do you enjoy making my life miserable?"

"Sure."

"Go away, I'm busy,"

"Doing what?"

"None of your damn business."

"My, my. Touchy are we, little _boy_?"

"I repeat: _go away_."

"Shut up and enjoy the sunlight, you miserable bastard,"

"Ouch. That hurt. Now go away."

"Why are your veins so blue?"

"What kind of a question is that? And don't touch me!"

"Prude,"

"Get lost,"

"In your eyes?"

"_Ugh_."

"You're so uptight, Nara..."

"And you're a perv who can't stop _touching me_!"

Temari rolled over on her back and balanced on her elbow, staring intently at Shikamaru's face. "Do you take laxatives?"

Shikamaru's left eye twitched, his hands balled up into fists and he looked away. But he didn't utter a word.

"Shika, can I play with your hair?"

He continued ignoring her. He was getting better at it, each passing day. Her voice would just pass over him and he wouldn't react at all.

"Please?"

_What? What did she say? _This was a first. And his face showed it. With a shocked expression, Shikamaru lifted his head and stared at her. "What did you say?"

Temari rolled on her back, stared at the clouds and said nothing.

* * *

"I hate Tsunade..." Shikamaru grumbled, throwing her a packet of crisps she wanted straight at her head. She caught it expertly; Shikamaru sighed.

"Why?" She asked, taking out a kunai and slicing open the defenseless packet with a _kccchhh_.

He merely looked at her, a _Like-you-don't-know_ expression on his usually bored face.

"Shaddup, bastard, and enjoy the music," she said lightly, inwardly kicking herself for being so..._Temari_.

"Do you think I _like _showing you around Konohagakure like a hapless monkey?" He ranted, kicking the pebbles onto trees.

"But, y'know..." she said, chewing thoughtfully, "...you _do_ look like one, with that dumbass haircut and all...and your damn height..."

Shikamaru barely looked her, concentrating on the ground beneath them. _Ignore, ignore, ignore. Kick, kick, kick_.

"Although you do have nice eyes..." Eyes widening, shocked at what she blurted out, Temari quickly stopped herself from slapping herself in the mouth and looked away hurriedly.

"What did you say?" Shikamaru said for the second time that day, his eyebrows knit in confusion.

She stared at the ground and said nothing.

* * *

She looked good for a hag, Shikamaru thought. He was a hot prude, Temari thought.

They sat, barely touching, together on a hard, cold stone bench. His hands were on the stone and hers behind, gripping the it with most of the power she had without chakra.

"Why is the moon so big here?" Temari let her hand leave the stone and made it point at the sky.

"I always wondered that too," Shikamaru stared at something passed her shoulder.

"It's so pretty, so comforting - not that I _like _it!" Temari added hurriedly.

"Sure, Sunagakure freak, sure," Shikamaru said absentmindedly.

"Shut up, Konohagakure loser," she replied, her normal aggressive tone absent in her voice.

"Is the moon 'pretty' in your side, too?" Shikamaru asked, barely looking at the moon.

"Not really," she said, her gaze on his hands. "It's too sandy for us to see it and when it isn't, I'm busy making sure Gaara doesn't kill anyone."

"It's nice, here, then?" Shikamaru asked, almost unsurely.

"Better than Suna," Temari agreed.

Silently, without even her knowing, his right hand went over her's left and gripped it.

Ignoring the warmth and the feel of his big, warm, comforting hand, Temari snatched hers away. "What is wrong with you?!" she hissed, underlying tones of confusion colouring her voice.

Shikamaru let a small blush appear on his face but reached for her hand again. He gripped it more tightly this time and leaned in closer to her, his breath playing havoc on Temari's weakening senses.

She looked at him, slightly wonderingly. He looked at her, something deep in his eyes.

"Hey," she started uncertainly, "Are you okay?"

"_No_," He said aggressively and pressed his lips to hers.

* * *

"You're damn annoying, you know..." Shikamaru yawned from the bathroom as he brushed his teeth.

Temari grinned; she considered it a compliment coming from _her _Nara-bastard. She continued brushing her hair with deft strokes of his rarely-used brush.

The water in the bathroom stopped running and he emerged, slightly wet.

"Thanks for the bed, loser, I loved it," she said impishly, all traces of her usual bitchiness wiped out after _last night_.

Shikamaru blushed slightly at the thought of _last night _but then thought, _Hell. _He came up from behind her, pulled her to his torso and reached for his brush.

Casually, he threw it over his shoulder, consequently breaking his window and hitting someone on the head.

"Ouch!" Naruto's voice boomed out mingled with Sakura's laughter which caused several sleeping members of Konoha to wake up and start swearing at them.

Temari sniggered and relaxed her head against his shoulder blade. It wasn't as hard as she thought would it be or maybe she was used to it now. Especially after yesterday.

"Thanks," he mumbled - slightly incoherently - into her hair.

"For what, moron?" Temari asked lazily.

"For being a bitch called Temari."

She sniffed and then said, "Thanks to you, too, Nara,"

Smiling slightly, he asked why.

"For being a lazy, miserable bastard who's younger than me!" she crowed

* * *

As much as I hate swearing, I think it's very à la Temari. It also suits how their personalities would be if they _did _get together. I apologize for the crap words used. _Really._

And sorry if the slight innuendo of _last night _wasn't good enough. I'm a young'un. _Bad excuse_.

I hate this story. But I post it anyway. _Longer story count, more glory._

If anyone has any idea for a good title for this goof-fic, please tell me.

Whatever. _iKani._


End file.
